Friday, March 12, 2010

More thougths on the Legion

I always enjoyed hanging out with my Dad, just one on one. I came from a family of six kids and so any time with my Dad, spent alone, was heaven for me. The summer after I graduated high-school, I had my annual fifteen days off in the summer time, my dad took me fishing for a few days, “up north”. I always loved doing that. We set out in our canoe, paddled across the frigid lake and drifted back with our rods dangling bait in the water, waiting for some unfortunate Walleye who would later end up in our bellies. I always used this opportunity to tell my Dad just what was on my mind. On these occasions I would really open up and we had these conversations, heart to heart. Those were very special moments. This was to be my last summer vacation after the Legion high-school, I was off to the novitiate and I was having some serious misgivings about my desire to carry on. I told my dad and he was sympathetic. I think he was always saddened to have his children leave his home. At such a young age, to see one’s children fly the nest must have been really tough. It would have been hard for any parent.
I confided to my dad that I didn’t want to go on to the novitiate. I wanted to leave the Legion and stay home with him and join the army, or go to school, or who knew what? I wanted something different, anything different, but, there was one big problem ... the souls entrusted to my care. Those souls ,whose final salvation rested on my sixteen year old shoulders. Those souls, whose damnation was certain if I didn’t remain a soldier of Christ, in the Legion. My own soul lost, if I didn’t carry on my studies for the priesthood, with the Legion of Christ. “Not all priests are as good as Legionaries”, I was told. And so I told my dad, that beautiful day on the lake, that I was going to the novitiate, I was going to be a priest.
When I reflect back on that day I am astounded how unjust I was with my father! The information I told him about the Legion was scant. What I withheld from him, was enormous. Had he known what I knew, he would not have permitted me to return to New Hampshire. Had he known about the mental and spiritual manipulation, he would have called the Bishop of Manchester and demanded that something be done to right the situation. I denied my father the opportunity to fulfill his divinely given mandate to defend his family, but I did so unwittingly. I had been “trained”, brainwashed, would be a better word, to distance myself from my family, to tell them nothing of my struggles, only my triumphs and happiness’s, which became fewer and fewer as the years wore on.
After I left the Legion it took me a long time to find my way. But, by the grace of God, I kept the faith, I met a girl, fell in love and got married. My habit of deception carried on though, I had not eradicated the Legion inspired method of concealment and falsehoods. I did not tell my bride about my past. I continued to defend the Legion against her enemies and calumniators. I thought I had successfully put the Legion behind me, until last year.
The news of Nuestro Fraud’s sins felt like a kick in the gut. I was astounded and in a state of denial but I gradually came to except what had happened and the consequences for all involved. I started to examine my conscience and judged the role I had to play as a former Legionary. I told my wife all about my past involvement with the Legion of Christ. I told the truth! Wow, how liberating, for a change! Since then my relationship with my wife has flourished, the truth has set us free. I used to complain about how the Legion had affected me, yet I would tell her about the good times I had had as well. It must have been confusing for her and so she finally asked me, “would you ever allow our kids to go to the Legion”? Without hesitation, I told her, “I would not allow a Legionary to even speak to my children about the Legion, or her works”.
If there is anyone out there who is reading this, who has a son in the Legion’s minor seminary, for the good of his mind and soul and the safety of your family, please look into the Legion very diligently. He may not be in any physical danger, the danger he is in is far greater. The Legion will affect his spirit and his personality and you will lose him! If he emerges from them he will return to you profoundly changed and you will not like what you see. Many, many, many men who leave the Legion also leave the faith. “By their fruits you shall know them”.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Incredible Post. Thank you for your honesty and strength.